Call of the Bush Ape


Fall of the Steaks


Ricky Butcher
Sol Butcher

Call of the Bush Ape is off of the 2010 album, not featured on the show.


Welcome to the mysteries of nature,
I'm Nigel Redferd.
Whether in the form of Native American legend,
Or penny-dreadful dime novel bull,
The fables of illusive beast,
Have intrigued locals for centuries.
Today, we end 600 years of speculation,
When we capture, on film,
The bush ape!

Ooohh, it's the call of the bush ape, bush ape!
Ooohh, it's the call of the bush ape, bush ape!

The bush ape is described as a livid humanoid,
Six to ten feet tall, weighing over 500 pounds!
And it's supposedly covered from head to toe,
In a dark, reddish brown fur.
Science considers the bush ape to be a combination of,
Folklore, misidentification, and hoaxes,
Rather than a real creature.
Today, I, Nigel Redferd,
Will have the final word in this debate,
When I bring this world,
The first definitive glimpse of the bush ape!
Look, there's some tracks!
Let's follow.

Ooohh, it's the call of the bush ape, bush ape!
Ooohh, it's the call of the bush ape, bush ape!

We've followed these tracks to this clearing,
And as you can see, just beyond that grove of trees,
Is a family of bush apes, watering themselves in the pond!
Oh my stars!
The first images of what was only though to be fantasy,
The bush ape, captured by me, Nigel Redferd.
Oh, my word!
One of the young, it appeared to have spotted us.
It's coming closer, it's making friendly overtures.
Yes! That's it! Come closer, little one!
I'm reaching out to touch!
Yes! Closer, closer...

Oh, oh god!
They're leaving, I'm still alive!
I-I appear to have lost a lot of blood, and several limbs.
And I believe they severely mauled my face and my genitals!
But I'm alive, I'm still alive!
Oh thank you sweet Lord! Christ on high, I'm alive!!

Oh, oh wait no!
Oh, they're fucking returning!!
Oh god, they're going to finish the bloody job, no!!
Oh god, fucking NOOOO!!!!!

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